i've been there these past few weeks. in fact, i've felt a little out of control. and while i'm not a control freak on a normal day...when things start to get out of control i feel like i'm grasping to hold on. and on those days, i think it's God's gentle reminder that i'm not the one in control of the big things or the small things.
for those of you who have been waiting on a post since seaside, i haven't been avoiding my blog, nor have i had a shortage of topics. just the opposite, in fact. i have a short list of 6 blog-worthy events. in fact, i tried to post the day after we came home from the beach but my camera would not (still will not) upload to my computer. what does that mean? it means i need a new camera (cue, mother's day).
while i haven't been posting pictures or fun stories i've been making mental notes of all i wanted to tell you.
last week i was all consumed with the weight of life. big things, little things, all things seemed like "one more thing" and i think part of me kind of shut down. it was one of those 'out of control moments.' i called my friend becca, who is so often a voice of wisdom for me, and rambled my list of sorrows. her advice was 'sure, it's a lot, but it's not more than you can handle.' she reminded me of the experiences i've had up to this point that have proven me worthy of being able to take on the next few months. a growth process. it is my God who never gives me more than I can handle and it is my God who daily bears my burdens (ps 68:18).
in the midst of fun beach trips, learning to read, the first loose tooth, a torn ACL, and adenoids that are coming out, i've been carrying around a bag of burdens of things i'm trying to do all on my own. stress of work, selling a house, 2 surgeries, a little girl that isn't so little anymore and another one that is staying sick have made that bag so heavy it's starting to overflow. it's left me exhausted and a little defeated, when all the while He has been waiting with outstretched arms for me to cast my burdens on Him so He can sustain me (ps 55:22).
i think we can get consumed by the big picture - where we've been, where we're going and how we'll get there - that we forget His desire is to be so involved in the daily process, the little things, so that the big picture might be fulfilled. we get so caught up in the God whose hands are big enough to create the ocean that we forget about the God whose hands are small enough to fit on the cross. we forget to focus on the everyday presence of God.
so while the last few weeks were hard, i had comfort i knowing the coming weeks will become milestones in my walk with Him. notches in my spiritual belt, if you will. i think i will face some challenges but i know i won't face them alone.if you ever feel overwhelmed, know that God's mercies are new every morning, He knows your day before you even begin it. He is just waiting for you to cast your every care upon Him because He cares for you!
